Forgiveness.  It’s a word we hear all too often when we seek advice about what to do or how to carry ourselves when somebody hurts our feelings.  That’s really the only reason why anyone ever gets angry…..because they got hurt.  Yet so many people don’t know what exactly it means to forgive.  It almost seems as though people think forgiveness means forgetting what happened, and pretending like the offending acts never took place.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Forgiveness is probably the best form of revenge that anyone could ever take in response to somebody hurting their feelings.

When people seek revenge, it’s usually for three reasons:

1. They’re looking for some way to make themselves feel better after someone hurt them.
2. They want to make the person who hurt them feel terrible for what they did.
3. They think they can accomplish the first two objectives by hurting the person who hurt them.

Again, nothing could be further from the truth.  Attempting to hurt the person who hurt you will only succeed in creating resentment that will make the person glad they did what they did.  By holding on to the anger and the pain caused by what the person did, you are non-verbally letting that person know that they won.

The best way to get revenge on someone who hurt you is to continue on with your life the same as if the offending acts had never occurred.  Continue working hard and work to love harder.  Take it further by wishing the person who hurt you nothing but the best.  Wish them success and all the happiness in the world.  It doesn’t mean that you forget what they did.  It just means that you are choosing to not let what they did destroy your heart.  That, more than anything, is more likely to make them feel bad about what they did than simply trying to hurt them.  By continuing your life in the same loving manner as before, you are non-verbally letting the person know that YOU won.

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness.  It’s a sign of strength.  It takes a bigger person to be able to let go than it does to hold on to anger and vengeance.  But forgiveness takes time.  I’ve never met anybody that could just “get over” being hurt.  Myself included.  Human emotions don’t work that way.  It is a long process that doesn’t happen overnight.  But when finally able to, I have never met anybody who regretted choosing to forgive.